My Story's Keeper

It's always been one of my life's goals to discover my family's ancestry. I know that while half of my family was in slavery, my mother's side of the family were Native Americans who fled to Scotland/Ireland. The amount of information that I can learn from my grandmother about my family can be found on 4 pieces of semi-faded yellow lined paper; that's it. I just wanna know my history. I wrote this piece as an outreach to the questions I have about searching for the past in order to embrace my future with a more stable foundation and a stronger sense of self confidence.....

Right, here among the trees and as I whisper to the vines.
Hearing all the stories that they keep.
Longing to remember who my people are and why
Wanting just to know the truth I dream.

Hopeful to be learning all the secrets that they hold
Desires to be glad to soon beseech them.
Never shall I turn to where cages keeping me
From all the things I'm meant to be I see them.

And Right here, can't resist
This sudden need to risk.

That right here, takes me to the sun
Breaking morning right here, long
To seek just one, who is a part of right here, hidden by the signs.

I hope to see one day
Still I'd pray.
Just one day,
I'd stay,
right here.

All my life I've dreamed of drifting through the skies.
Free to chance but hopeful just to see.
All my years I've wondered just how I came to be
Wanting to believe that I reach them.

If I could most resist
The touch; ancestors kiss.

But right here, all along the stars
I hear them trailing, out here
Wounded by the sun,
and yet unknowing how here,
 I'd love to freely run.

Along we'll be content,
Long to stand,
Know you're gone, no
I'm wrong.

Just a sense
Hold suspense.
Hearts immense
No expense.

Just one day,
right here,
I'd stay.

Cannot fear
I know you're here
Cannot say
Forget you; no way.

Won't regret
Won't withstand
I don't know
How this ends.

Just to find,
what's real,
Right here.

All I hope to finally realize my life
More than just the simple things I see.
Hearing all around me the voices as they speak
Sing the song I longed to dream and seek them.

If I was in the clear
I'd pray to know they're here.

And right here, all alone I stand.
Facing the winds, right here
The true moment,
to stay forever.

Right here, long to understand
The way I feel,
some where,
Could I dare?
Just to find,
What's truly mine,

Hope I may
Could I stay?
Just to spend,
one day,
right here.

Right here among the leaves and wonders left before the sky.
Breathing but the sunshine it may keep.
All along I wondered if I'm meant to be alive
Never known the ancestors I bleed.

If I was to have missed
This longing moments' twist.

But right here, I can feel the sun
Take a moment, right here
All alone but one,
who stays forever.

Right here, just to taste the sun
And where i'll be, won't end
The strength they send.

Won't resist
Won't depend
On my own, No
I won't bend.

How I'd stay
one day,
Right here.

"Unknown Fears"

We'll never know what life has in store for us unless we take chances. We never fail when we fall. We only fail when we stop trying to achieve our goals.

Don't know why I couldn't be
Your only one, your everything.
Drained me of what I couldn't see
Never thought I'd try to believe.

Never believe each day we're here's
To doubt our haunted unknown fears.
Forced within my open arms
Thrown into heart of the storms.

Long to cast these seas of green
Towards the joys of singing free.
Withstand the hurt I'll never stray
Until my strength carries me away.

"The War We Break"...

As I was sitting at my work desk over the summer, I was listening to the song "Wavin' Flag" by K'naan and he sings about becoming something more in the world and that the fights and anger that we hold onto we only lead us to self destruction. Everyone has the ability to overcome those struggles and to set them aside in order to find a better tomorrow.

All the mystery it’s around us

Never doubting it can[‘t] stop us.

Be your hero never stopping

As the faith they always watching.

Never streaming flow to freedom

This believing not receding.

Hold your hope now slowing earths tide

Our true nature fills us inside.

Dance upon the open fields now

As the laughter fill the fields now.

As the grounds they red and writhing

So afflicted when’s the stopping?

Every child all religions

Every dream that we envisioned.

In my reach but slowly drifting

Hope is close now soon believing.

See horizons grace the mornings

Graze across her ancient sightings.

Waters shifting wrath it’s seeping

Drowns the pain out natures keeping.

All the fear that shakes the meaning

All our dreams once misbelieving.

So we go down to the rivers

Face destruction nature’s sinner.

Heroes rise to dream and wonder

Flee the air of crave and wander.

Sings her song now its growing plea

To be free her, try and stop me.